| - another shining moment...the only thing i can think about is you.
yesterday something happened. My dad shows up at my house, just out of the blue. He apporaches me and says "Bubba(my family nickname) you wanna come with me tonight?" im like "alright dad". so the whole drive back to my grandmas house he tells me how he missed me and loves me and how he wants to spend so much time with me. so im thinking awesome. well ends up he goes to his girlfriends house and i am stuck at my grandparents house. doing nothing. yay. it upsets me that my dad does this to me everytime i think im gonna spend time with him. today was better, my cousin johnny showed up at my grandmas around 11 and took me to play basketball. that was awesome, i can always depend on my cousins to cheer me up. after that i went back to his house and we watched movies, and went out to eat. after that dad took me home. home sucks. life sucks. im being forced to move into a place where i really dont want to go, my dad ignores me. school is a complete hell, ive missed so much school, i hope i dont get held back. i would die. im depressed again. yay leland, you are awesome. tonight im leaving, im gonna go lay under that big blanket they call the stars. and just think, reflect, i realize that my life isn't as bad as lots of peoples. well to me, life is horrible, the way i was raised just makes me think that its bad. i'm not going to school tomorrow either. thank god, im going to sleep all day, unless something happens, that probably won't. summer is approaching. yAy. i am going to make this amazing. hoping someone loves me... . i can only laugh my friends. i am guessing the one i love doesent love me...for some reason, i have the feeling, the oddest feeling. that no one loves me. i can't help how i feel, i just feel. and everytime something good happens to me, i get frightened, nothing good is supposed to happen to me, im the one that is supposed to help people have good things happen to them...im afraid...
im crying now... |
. i love melissa. she rocks my world...and she was supposed to call me
. but i guess that isnt gonna happen...o well, im tired, and will sleep
